he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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