The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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