I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
