We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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