OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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