So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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