I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
