8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize