All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
