we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
