I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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