oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
