So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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