We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
