Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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