Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can

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(434): View more from Virginia

i said good morning to each one of his abs personally

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."

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(203): View more from Connecticut

You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.

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(313): View more from Michigan

In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes

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(901): View more from Tennessee

The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked

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