Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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