careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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