just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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