i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize