at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
