why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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