i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
