you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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