I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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