My first STD was from a foam party
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize