So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
