You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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