Whod you bang
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
tell your sister to shave her snatch
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
