conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
