Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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