Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
