dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
