ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
