found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
