It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
