I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
