youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
