Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
