You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
