covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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