Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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