Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Randomize