Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
