hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
this will be a night to untag.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
