who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
