Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
