I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
