Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i dont even know how to be here
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
