You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Randomize
