Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
tonight lets celebrate not being married
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
