Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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