even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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