words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
