so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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