Kiss
Puke
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
