Cold hands, warm shart.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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