you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
