3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
